


All I know is that with you there's something

by BehindTheRobinsMask



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Break Up, Complicated Relationships, Ficlet, Friends With Benefits, Getting Back Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:28:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26305618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheRobinsMask/pseuds/BehindTheRobinsMask
Summary: Jason had a way of making him weak, the small pull of his lips, the happiness reflected in his green eyes whenever they woke up next to each other, it was all enough to bring Dick down to his knees. It was enough to make Dick fall like a bird without wings, crash landing into the ground, broken and bruised because Jason’s arms would never be there to catch him. His love would always go unanswered.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Comments: 12
Kudos: 159
Collections: JayDick Summer Exchange 2020





	All I know is that with you there's something

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lostandlonelybirds (RUNNFROMTHEAK)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RUNNFROMTHEAK/gifts).



> Song: Twenty Something by Nightly

Closing his eyes, one shuddered breath after another escaped through Dick’s parted lips as raindrops pelted down on his skin, it’s pitter-patter on the ground creating a new melody, picking up speed like a crescendo until it was all he could hear. He stretched out his arms, curled and uncurled his hands, trying to catch each drop, watching water rise in the cup of his hands, watching with a broken heart as it still found ways to spill. There’s always a crack. The tiniest of cracks. Just big enough to let out words that he should have never said, words that were better off buried deep inside his heart. 

_ “I love you, Jason.” _

Gasping for air, on the tip of his toes, Dick spun across the rooftop, the rising sun his curtail call. It was time to go home. It was time to say goodbye. But he wasn’t ready to let go. He wasn’t ready to stop this dance that he had started years ago. When he held Jason’s hand for the first time, he knew that he would fall in love. It was an outcome written in the stars the moment their lips collided, the moment their eyes met under the moonlight. Dick ran away, pretend that his life was just a never-ending game of rooftop tag so that his competitive streak would always keep him on his toes, jumping through the city, jumping through phases of his life without ever being caught. But Jason had a way of making him weak, the small pull of his lips, the happiness reflected in his green eyes whenever they woke up next to each other, it was all enough to bring Dick down to his knees. It was enough to make Dick fall like a bird without wings, crash landing into the ground, broken and bruised because Jason’s arms would never be there to catch him. His love would always go unanswered. 

Even as Jason’s body pressed against his, even as they kissed like they needed each other to breathe, each moment was short-lived, a clock looming over their heads, counting down the seconds before it was time to part, to pretend that the emotions that had filled the air, the love that reflected in their eyes, none of it was real. Dick meant nothing to Jason. Jason meant nothing to Dick. 

And Dick was sure he could keep this up forever. He was sure that if he put his heart in a cage, if he held on just a little bit longer, Jason wouldn’t have a reason to run away. He would stay. He would stay and they would keep pretending. Because it was easier to pretend than to be honest. It was easier to pretend than to admit they couldn’t live without each other. 

But he had made a mistake, fuelled by passion, driven by hope, he had said the words he promised himself he would never speak. He had bared his heart, feelings breaking through the dam, surging forward and pulling him under. And when he reached out for a lifeline to save him, when he gasped for oxygen, help wasn’t around. He was all alone because the smile had slipped from Jason’s face, because Jason had started to shut down, his eyes reflecting an inevitable parting. 

Up and off the bed, he numbly got dressed while Dick stared wide-eyed, waiting for a glance, waiting for something other than the silent torture he was being subjected to. His heart was breaking, torn like it was made of paper, taken apart piece by piece as Jason walked away. 

_ “Don’t tie yourself down to me, Dickie.”  _ That’s what Jason had said the first time Dick had kept him in his bed, the first time they pretended that they were something more together, something special. His words, his intentions, they were all clear. Don’t fall in love. Don’t hope. Because the road they walked upon wouldn't go on forever. It would end and so would they.

Dick had heard him loud and clear but he had fallen anyway. He had heard Jason loud and clear but he had still wanted more than what he was given.

Now, here he was, dancing in the rain, hoping to forget his pain because his pain was all that he had left, his pain was the only thing he could feel. After all, when Jason had walked away, Dick knew that there would not be a tomorrow for them. 

He had said his last goodbye and whatever they had was being washed away by the rain. 

*******

Since the day he had crawled his way out of his own grave, Jason wondered if he had actually escaped death or had she followed him back as his shadow, watching and waiting, whispering and taunting, punishing him for runaway. Punishing him for choosing life instead of her cold embrace. Because every time Jason tried to hold onto something tangible, something that could be his, with a single touch, he’d ruin it all, watch his happiness wither and fade away, the garden he planted laid to waste because he had cared too much, his affection almost smothering. 

Sometimes when he was deep inside Dick, when their limbs were tangled and every emotion that they tried to hide was reflected on their faces, Jason imagined his fingers wrapping around Dick’s throat, squeezing until he was writhing beneath him, until the last thing he remembered was how in love he was. Then, his bluebird could never run away. He could never leave Jason behind. And because he felt so strongly for Dick, because he loved him more than anything in the world, Jason knew that he had to let him go. Jason knew that he had to fly away before his claws dug deep inside Dick, binding them together forever. 

_ “I love you, Jason.”  _ Dick had said those words so easily as if he couldn’t see the monster that Jason really was. As if he saw the monster and loved him anyway. Which is why, for his sake, to hold back his dark desires, Jason said goodbye, ending whatever it is they had. He kept his distance, fleeing the moment Dick was anywhere close by, almost feeling his presence as butterflies danced inside him. Occasionally they would work together but Jason never stayed long, knowing that if he slipped up for even a second, he’d find himself back in Dick’s arms. That was his safe place. That was his home. And without Dick, Jason was just a wanderer with nowhere to go. 

He had promised himself he would never return. But here he was, on his bike, on his way to the very city that he had been kicked out of. The Bat's wrath was bound to rain down on him soon enough but Jason couldn’t care. Not when his heart was screaming in pain, not when Dick was gone, so far away that even if he tried, he could never bring him back. 

Jason had seen it on the news, the broken form of the man he loved so much, his identity revealed to the world minutes before he took his last few breaths. Dick was gone. Dick was gone and Jason wanted to leave with him. 

But a part of him, a small and hopeful part believed that maybe Dick was still alive. Until Jason saw his body, he wouldn’t believe in the worst. Until he had his confirmation, he would keep hoping. He would keep looking for the blue eyes he loved so much. 

As he arrived at the manor, he felt his body tense because by now Bruce had to know that he was here, by now, the caped crusader was probably seething with anger. But when no one showed up, when there was no retribution for his actions, Jason felt his heart sink. Why wasn’t Bruce here? What exactly had him so occupied that he wasn’t keeping an eye on the estate from the cave? Jason pushed forward even though he wanted to turn back. He pushed forward despite the dread that settled into the pit of his stomach. 

With hushed steps, he walked to the cave.  _ Thump. Thump. Thump.  _ His heart beat like a worn-out drum, echoing in his head, drowning out his thoughts.  _ Thump. Thump. Thump.  _ Louder and louder, faster and faster until he felt like he would collapse, the song fading into a single, elongated beep as he heard a voice, one that was so familiar, one that haunted him like a song he could never forget. 

“After everything, how can you ask this of me?!” Dick demanded, his voice so full of anger and Jason knew he was close to snapping, close to saying words he would eventually regret because he wasn’t a bad man. He was never a cruel man. But despite all the patience he had, there were times when his emotions got the best of him. 

“This isn’t about you!” Bruce roared, his voice thundering in the cave. 

As his fear of never seeing Dick again melted away, Jason stepped into the cave, red colouring his vision as he saw the sight before him. 

Dick bruised and beaten. Bruce standing over him, fingers curled into fists. And before he could even comprehend the situation, Jason had his guns pulled out. 

“Step away from him,” was all he said as wide-eyes noticed him, every bit of his patience holding him back from pulling the trigger. Bruce was hurting Dick and that was just unacceptable. 

“Jay--” Dick started, a flurry of emotions flickering through his eyes but before he could finish, just as he always did, without any shame, without any regret, Bruce intervened. 

“I thought I made it clear that you are not welcome in Gotham,” he seethed as if he hadn’t been caught doing something wrong. And knowing him, Bruce probably felt that his actions, no matter how cruel, were justified. 

“And I thought I made it clear that I don’t give a fuck about your rules. So, if you don’t want a gaping hole in your body, I’d suggest you step away from Dick now,” Jason warned. Even if he respected Bruce still, loved him still, this was one thing that he could never forgive him for. 

“Jay,” Dick whispered again, pushing himself to his feet. “Jay.” His fingers reached out and in the haze of anger, his voice pierced through so clearly, grounding Jason as he rushed forward to hold him. “You’re here. You’re actually here.”

Wavering, his body trembling with relief, Jason found himself smiling despite the situation, “I should be the one saying that, Dickie. I thought you were… gone.” 

“I’m here,” Dick said, his voice soothing as though he wasn’t the one who was injured. “I’m not going anywhere.”

For a second, Jason let his eyes close. For a second, he just breathed, take in Dick’s scent and assure himself that this wasn’t a dream. This was real. This was real and now that he had Dick in his arms, he was never letting go again. 

“How about we get out of here and find a place where you can actually heal?” Jason asked, securing his arm around Dick’s waist and holding him up. 

Smiling, Dick nodded and despite Bruce’s vexing glare, they walked away, hand in hand, together like they were always meant to be. Two robins who left the nest, saw the world and found their way back to each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> When I initially sat down to write this fic, I had a completely different plan for what I wanted it to be, how the story would progress and end. But then, the story kind of just wrote itself. I know that you wanted match-maker Donna AK and I'm sorry I couldn't deliver on that aspect >w< But I do hope you'll enjoy the fic nonetheless.


End file.
